Movie Review: Skeleton Key 2

This quickly in my search I have found the worst movie in the world. I am not ashamed to say this. And i have seen some pretty terrible movies too. Skeleton Key 2 was worse than Twilight, Dumpster Baby, Planet of the Apes, and Tideland. I mean it, it was really terrible. That is going to be the hardest movie to watch, and I already have it out of the way.

So, where do I start, describing this 2 hours of torture? Well, let's start with the plot. There was none. Special effects? Red paint? The costumes? Actually, some of the costumes were pretty decent. Of course, you know, they had a pirate in the movie for no reason, I think mostly because they had a pirate costume and were like " yeah, let's throw that in there." There were a lot of sex scenes, and I found myself wondering if this was a zombie movie or a low quality porno. Answer? It was both, but not with very many zombies. The zombies, btw, were just regular people with blue paint on their face.

Also there were like, 6, random song interludes, none of them had anything to do with anything. One was a parody of puttin'' on the ritz about taking a shit.

Pleas, for the love of all that is unholy, do not ever, ever, ever think it is a good idea to watch this movie. Don't ever think it's a bad idea and watch it anyway.

I repeat: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE

Now, I could give you a spoiler to this movie, but they do that in the movie. About halfway through a man in a tux comes on and tells you how it ends. So instead, I will tell you the only good things about this movie, there are three.

1. The subtitle: 667, neighbor of the beast
2. The part where the man gets a VHS message in the mail and says " I can't play this" then immediately is greeted by the same thing on DVD
3. It ended, eventually..

Sorry, I don't have a picture of this one for you, I'm not on my home computer right now. You wouldn't want to see it anyway.

Here are some things that made Twilight better than this movie.

Twilight was about half an hour shorter
Twilight still had bad special effects, but there were less of them
There were no random musical parodies
The sound track was better
There is a drinking game for Twilight
An ex Grey's anatomy character was in Twilight
You know the actors and can make fun of them easier
Bella gets run over by a car
There were no cowboy hats ( at least not that many of them )
The sex scenes weren't as graphic.
It was easier to pretend there was a plot
There were no vampires in twilight. ( yes, skeleton key 2 had better vampires )
You could understand the things you wish you weren't hearing in twilight.
There were no toilet jokes in twilight.
There was no robot in twilight that was a very very poor plot decision and is only there for the last 10 minutes of the movie. ( credits included in this time)


So, please. DOn't watch this movie.